Just Keep Going

No one ever told me it would be this hard. I thought writing the book was the difficult part. *laughs* Boy was I wrong. The last few months have been an absolute whirlwind. I’ve never exchanged so many e-mails or made so many business calls in my life. I’ve never been more excited for something to finally happen…or more scared.

And all of it has boiled down to this one lone minute. The minute where everything finally sinks in, and I realize: this is it. There’s no turning back now. Not that I want to. A million fiery horses couldn’t drag me away from seeing this dream through. Not now. Not ever.

But there’s this strange, surreal quality to everything. Some days, I feel as if I’m shuffling through life in a trance—terrified that something will jolt me and the walls of this carefully constructed fantasy will come crashing down around my feet in an instant. Nothing feels real right now. Nothing, that is but this maddening combination of unbridled excitement and sheer terror.

After months of editing, cover mock ups, e-mails, contracts, phone calls, and formatting….Requiem is heading to the printer. Everything is in place, ready to go…and I don’t know if I want to sing and dance my way through the city streets, or rock myself silly in the corner of my bathroom and throw up.

I guess the answer here is both.

And that I’m probably a little neurotic.

But it’s okay.

I’d be a liar if I said this moment never crossed my mind. All those years I spent writing like a mad woman until I thought my fingers would fall off, I had a small dream of having a published book. But to be honest, I never really thought that moment would come. I thought it was a pipedream. Something beautiful to cling to, a motivation to keep me going—something way beyond reach to strive for. It gave me hope, and fuel for the fire I used to feed my hunger for escape and words.

I wonder how many other people have yearned for the same. I wonder how many have tried to convince themselves their dreams, too, are impossible.

Nothing is impossible.

The world of self-publishing has opened so many doors. It’s proven there is a calling out there for new voices and ideas to be explored. Many small presses have flung open their doors in hopes of the same. No longer do authors have to sweat and toil with only the hope of a Big 6 to cling to. (Oh but you must still sweat and toil just as hard if you hope to succeed.) But now, there are so many other options, other venues to explore.

If you can dream it…you can do it. You just have to be willing to put in the time and effort. Mass quantities of it. Hard time—because like anything else in life, you’re only going to bring back what you are willing to put in. And even then, there are no guarantees.

Maybe publishing is a lot like a weekend in Vegas. You stand at the table. Perhaps for a moment, you tremble with a combination of anticipation and fear. Maybe you blow on the dice or plant a kiss on them for good luck. Then you let go.

There are no guarantees where things will land. You could win big—you could take a loss. Either way, you’re in it for the long haul. And in that moment, that one beautiful moment where everything hangs suspended, you close your mind, wish for the best, and simply just breathe.

Then the hard work sets in again.

I’m not really sure what the point of this blog post is. Part of me just needed to blow off some steam and try to relax—to remind myself to take the moment in and savor it. The other part, the bigger one, is hoping that somewhere out there, someone is listening. Someone who is in doubt. Someone who doesn’t have the courage or belief in themselves to reach for the stars and seek what’s in their heart.

I want them to know…if I can do it, you can too.

Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Just keep going.

That’s all any of us can really do.

~Best wishes

Adri

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30 comments on “Just Keep Going

  1. Not a pointless post Adri, everyone should hear these words and understand that no matter how easy it might look for another, they suffered equally to fulfill their dream. I can’t wait to get a hold of your book and read it!

    • Adriana Noir says:

      Very true. Whether it’s in the creative stages or the final stretch, writing is definitely a labor of love. *smiles* to be honest, I can’t wait either. I am so ready for this thing to be out already!

  2. maramcbain says:

    Funny, I thought writing the book was the tough part too. Damn but I was wrong. But it is a lot like having a baby … nine months of hell … labor that makes you want to go back to hell lol … and then you hold that beautiful new life in your hands and you forget about all the work that lead up to it … only to realize later … the work is just beginning.

    I wish you all the luck and success in the world, Adri. You have a gift … a way with prose that makes the rest of us green with envy and the angels weep. I can’t wait for the world to get ahold of you!

    • Adriana Noir says:

      Awww, Mara. stop making me blush, dammit!
      On the other hand, LOL you couldn’t be more right. I feel like someone is standing over me yelling “PUSH! PUSH!” Then again, that’s probably just Seir. 😉

  3. edwardlorn says:

    A world without a novel from Adriana Noir would have been a sad place to exist, indeed. I’m more than happy that you overcame your fears.

    E.

  4. What a fantastic post. I’m so happy for you, Adriana! x

  5. davidbiddle says:

    Yeah, you hit it all on the head perfectly. There’s a perfect song for all indie writers (I’m listening to it right now…I listen to it quite a lot). Check out John Mayer’s “Walt Grace’s Submarine Test, January 1967” I’ve actually written Mayer a 2-page letter thanking him for my daily theme song.

    “…and his wife told his kids he was crazy; and his friends said he’d fail if he tried…”

    This video of it is great:

    http://en.musicplayon.com/play?v=193549

    Congrats on publishing…now close the hatch and get pedaling.

    • Adriana Noir says:

      Thank you so much, David, and what a wonderful song! It truly is a shame how much people end up missing out on if they toss their hat into the ring and call it quits. Thanks for stopping by and sharing!

  6. douginator says:

    Great job and welcome to the fold…

  7. Hunter Shea says:

    And now you’ll find that the real work begins! Congrats on attaining your dream. There is no better feeling in the world. Savor ever moment.

    • Adriana Noir says:

      Ahh, Hunter, thank you so much! I’m very excited…and deep down I’m hoping I get to play at the big table someday with all the other boys and girls with books under their belt! For now, I’m just trying to earn my dues and pave my way. 🙂 And yes, as scary as it all can be, I am savoring each and every second of this chaos.

      • Hunter Shea says:

        The chaos just gets more…chaotic. What happens is you get one dream under your belt, then you hit the pillow and have another, even bigger dream. And so on and so on, each one building until you’re a full blown dream addict. There is no rehab for it, and it’s wonderful.

  8. Great word, Adri. If nothing else, I love encouraging people to have no regrets. You did a great job of preaching that here. Well done.
    Wishing you the very best.

    -Jimmy

  9. Great post. Many of us are there behind you.
    I’m still at the editing and drafting part.. editing initially proved much harder for me than drafting. You say it gets harder.. hmm I think I’ll stay in the dream stage for a while..
    Well done and good luck!

    • Adriana Noir says:

      It does get harder. At least in my humble opinion, but don’t get me wrong. 🙂 Each and every single step of the journey is worth it. Well worth it, blisters and all!
      Thank you so much for stopping by and best of luck to you!

  10. Joseph Pinto says:

    You never know unless you roll the dice, Adri. And for you it started with the very first word of your very first sentence. Now make sure you keep grinding & striving every day!! 😉 So Damned proud of you!!

    • Adriana Noir says:

      *grins* Thank you, Joe! I will do my best to try and continue to make the Tale Weaver proud. 😉 There’s some mighty high standards in those dark and Damned corridors I roam. Speaking of…I’m working on a little something to send your way.

  11. Best of luck to you. Celebrate for a day and then start your marketing plan NOW what you do in the next few months will decide the fate of your novel. Use the time wisely and good luck!

  12. (hugs). I can’t put it better.

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